Hollywood can’t make enough good holiday movies fast enough.
Because, after all, how many times can you watch Albert Finney in the musical version of “A Christmas Carol?”
Here are some locally flavored holiday movies I’d like to see made.
“It’s a Miserable Life” – A Putnam fund manager is about to take a header off the Tobin Bridge when an angel of mercy intervenes. The Putnam guy realizes he has plenty to live for: inflated bonuses, free meals, a girl on the side, a bunch of dummy accounts and a huge debt to the boilermakers union. “Merry Christmas to all!”
“Miracle on Summer and D Streets” – A mysterious figure bearing a striking resemblance to St. Nick shows up one Christmas Eve in South Boston. The city awakens on Christmas Day to balmy, tropical weather and a convention of 7,000 chowder-loving optometrists.
“A Charlie Sarkis Christmas” – “Good grief!” Charlie learns the meaning of Christmas from a pesky greyhound named Snoopy. They celebrate with rib-eye steaks from Abe & Louie’s and a trip to the slots at Foxwoods.
“Frosty the Plowman” – With only six days advance warning, a blizzard cripples Boston under 12 inches of snow – bringing commerce, travel and schools to a grinding halt. Neighborhood kids in Charlestown save the day when they build a magic snowman, who immediately recognizes that City Hall has budgeted just $1,000 for snow removal. Around-the-clock plowing begins. The mayor declares victory.
“Trading Spaces” – Two wealthy hedge-fund managers bet each other $1 they can’t get a bum to redecorate their Beacon Hill penthouses. Hilarity ensues when the “bum” turns out to be former Tyco CEO L. Dennis Kozlowksi. Deck the halls with dog-shaped umbrella stands!
“The Nutcracker” – A chorus line of leggy brain surgeons chases prima ballerinas out of their long-time home in Boston’s theater district. Includes thrilling pillow-fight scene.
“Stooge” – Mayor Thomas M. Menino is visited on Christmas Eve by three spirits – the ghost of Mayors Past, the ghost of Mayors Future, and Ray Flynn.
Raybo sets Menino on the straight and narrow: “At least I was a coatholder for Bill Clinton. Wouldn’t you look cute with Howard Dean!”
In the right place at the Red time
The Seaport Hotel landed a mini coup when the No. 3 man in Communist China made his swing through Boston last week.
Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao was originally slated to attend a Wednesday reception in his honor hosted by Liberty Mutual at the Four Seasons Hotel.
Apparently, Chinese diplomatic protocol generally calls for only top-shelf hotels.
But planners decided to change the location when they learned a union demonstration was planned for the State House at the same time as the Jiabao reception. God knows Liberty Mutual didn’t want to risk any possible tie-ups with the motorcade or, worse, some kind of international incident.
Jiabao was the first head of state – OK, almost head of state – to be hosted by the Seaport Hotel.
One-stop shopping
More than 70 local government officials from the region’s urban communities will congregate on Malden tomorrow for an economic summit.
Key topics: Consolidating health care plans and “exploring options” for lowering prescription drug costs.
Does that mean the all-day conference will be a rah-rah session for Canadian drug re-importation?
Could be.
But the agenda calls for other discussion, too, including a review of creative ways to enhance municipal revenue and proposed property tax classification changes.
Guest speakers include former New Jersey Gov. Jim Florio, Lt. Gov. Kerry Healey and Administration & Finance Secretary Eric Kriss.
Tell me something I don’t know: cosmo@bostonherald.com
Caption: Puppy love
Just because he’s the Treasury secretary doesn’t mean that John Snow can’t have a soft side. Apparently, these stuffed animals, or at least the price, at a Toys `R’ Us in New York caught his attention. BLOOMBERG PHOTO
