Daily Mash (satire)- As a massive American hedge fund faces imminent collapse, millions of people across the globe have found themselves panicking without the faintest idea why.<\/p>\n
Tom Logan, head of markets at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "This fund was over-speculated in long-term, prime-reverse wide-money. <\/p>\n
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"It could be devastating or it could be utterly insignificant. Would you like to buy a Range Rover?" <\/p>\n
Wayne Hayes, 42, from Chelmsford, said: "I was saying to Geoff, I said, ‘Geoff mate, this is the big one’. And he’s like, ‘why?’, and I’m like, ‘if you don’t know, there’s no point in me trying to explain it you’."<\/p>\n
Meanwhile Nikki Hollis, 33, from Doncaster said: "It couldn’t have been very strong. Did they get it from Homebase? I hope they managed to get all the little birds nests out."<\/p>\n